Oxytocin and infidelity – By Laurel Dewey

When it comes to fostering long-term relationships, men and women are very different. No matter what your sex, sticking around in a relationship is a challenge. Temptations occur. What, with all of the hot men and women walking, driving, skiing, windsurfing by, how does the average girl or guy manage to maintain a solid relationships at all?

According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, not very well. Their statistics indicate that 50% our first marriages, 67% of our second and 74% of our third marriages end in divorce. No surprises there.

A group of researchers at McGill University in Montreal were inspired to design a study to learn more about this phenomena. They put together a study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in which 150 heterosexual men and women were asked to imagine a hot conversation with an attractive member of the opposite sex. They were then asked to play a fill-in-the-blank word game. When shown the word “THR_AT,” women who’d been asked to think about handsome, sexy, men tended to fill in the blank with an e creating the word “threat.” Men asked to visualize gorgeous sexy women were more likely to see the word “throat.” When offered “LO_AL” women saw “loyal,” and men saw “local.”

The point being that the mere thought of an outside flirtation was enough to trigger beware bells in women’s brains, but not in men’s! “It’s an amazing outcome,” says John Lydon, professor of psychology and leader of the study. “The same things weren’t coming to mind for the men.”

So, our researchers bumped the experiment up, bringing in some serious temptation in the form of very good-looking actors and actress (pretending to be other participants signed up for the same study) who were adept in the subtle arts of flirtation. The researchers also brought in a group of unattractive subjects who were also boring.

After spending some flirt time with the hot actresses, men began to see them as viable alternatives to their current mates, and, (and this is a big AND) felt somewhat less committed to their current relationship. Dogs! On the other hand, women put in the same situation, though they clearly saw the hot flirtatious guy’s as attractive alternatives, but as threats to their current relationship and pushed them away. No, not literally.

Because they make more oxytocin, women inherently more able to distance themselves from threats to their relationships. Of course society has also encouraged them to do so from a very early age. “Men don’t have those strategies built in,” Lydon says, “but they can be trained.”

How do we get men to change? For starters, you must never ask them to suppress these wandering thoughts. It won’t work. Suppressing unwanted thoughts of any kind will only backfire. (Don’t think about pink elephants! “Don’t!” You are thinking about pink elephants. Ok, stop! . . . you get my point.)

You need to inspire them to release their oxytocin and feeeeel the love. Yes, love. Because when they feel more love they will release more oxytocin which will make it way easier to just not see distracting stimuli. I’m not making this up, there are many studies that support this phenomena. Notice, I didn’t say anything about desire. Desire is good. Desire is a start. Desire gets their attention. Desire is first base. For all of us. The hot actors and actresses proved this, but desire is not a home run. It is not the long term solution. It is not the oxytocin connection. It is a quick fix stop gap. When men (and women) are truly in love with their partners, and making oxytocin they are much more able to ignore stimuli from attractive members of the opposite sex. Get this, even more so than women! This was proven in a recent UCLA experiment with tempting pictures.

Conclusion: Women naturally make more oxytocin then men. We are little oxytocin factories. The mere act of talking induces us to release oxytocin. Men are not as adept at producing oxytocin as we are. They make a little but not nearly as much as us. Men make lots of testosterone. But, testosterone isn’t about commitment, testosterone is about fornication and only lasts a few minutes a day for a few weeks or months. By the way, the pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin we all release in the early stages of love are good for about a year. Again, these hormones are about mating, not marriage. Oxytocin is about commitment. Alas, don’t fret, men can be taught how to release more of the big O. And, they should be, because when they are truly in love life is simpler for them and when life is easier for them, it is easier for us. N’est-ce pas? Practice your oxytocin releasing protocols with them! (see chapter ?) You know, look into their eyes, sing to them, get them to sing along. If the drag their feet spray some Oxytocin Accelerator under their tongue and try again.

Oxytocin is an FDA controlled substance!

Click here to read about a sublingual Homeopatic formulation designed to enable the body to release and Accelerate its own Natural Oxytocin.

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Tags: Oxytocin, Love+Trust+Bonding, Without+Oxytocin+just+sex

Oxytocin makes love blind?

Can thinking wonderful thoughts about the one you love, make you less likely to find a new partner? A new study says so. The study involving 113 people in long term relationships were asked to view pictures of members of the opposite sex at which time they were asked to rate their attractiveness. Half of the group were then asked to write an essay professing their love for their significant other. The other half wrote about the happiest time in their lives. Those that wrote about their love for their significant other ruled out the most attractive people in photos when shown during the viewing portion of the study. The study respondents rejected the photos of the most attractive people said Dr. Jon Maner, a psychologist from Florida State University and leader the study. A current romantic perception of your partner may short circuit attraction to others Maner purports. Hence, the long held quote, “love truly may be blind”. The findings published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior may suggest that our oxytocin production is why as humans may commit to a long term relationship with one person.

Oxytocin is an FDA controlled substance!

Click here to read about a sublingual Homeopatic formulation designed to enable the body to release and Accelerate its own Natural Oxytocin.

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Tags: Oxytocin, Oxytocin+love, Oxytocin+social+viagra, Oxytocin+trust, Oxytocin+gay+guy, Oxytocin+sex

Oxytocin may mediate the benefits of positive social interaction and emotions

During breastfeeding or suckling, maternal oxytocin levels are raised by somatosensory stimulation. Oxytocin may, however, also be released by nonnoxious stimuli such as touch, warm temperature etc. in plasma and in cerebrospinal fluid. Consequently, oxytocin may be involved in physiological and behavioral effects induced by social interaction in a more general context. In both male and female rats oxytocin exerts potent physiological antistress effects. If daily oxytocin injections are repeated over a 5-day period, blood pressure is decreased by 10-20 mmHg, the withdrawal latency to heat stimuli is prolonged, cortisol levels are decreased and insulin and cholecystokinin levels are increased. These effects last from 1 to several weeks after the last injection. After repeated oxytocin treatment weight gain may be promoted and the healing rate of wounds increased. Most behavioral and physiological effects induced by oxytocin can be blocked by oxytocin antagonists. In contrast, the antistress effects can not, suggesting that unidentified oxytocin receptors may exist. The prolonged latency in the tail-flick test can be temporarily reversed by administration of naloxone, suggesting that endogenous opioid activity has been increased by the oxytocin injections. In contrast, the long-term lowering of blood pressure and of cortisol levels as well as the sedative effects of oxytocin have been found to be related to an increased activity of central alpha 2-adrenoceptors. Positive social interactions have been related to health-promoting effects. Oxytocin released in response to social stimuli may be part of a neuroendocrine substrate which underlies the benefits of positive social experiences. Such processes may in addition explain the health-promoting effects of certain alternative therapies. Because of the special properties of oxytocin, including the fact that it can become conditioned to psychological state or imagery, oxytocin may also mediate the benefits attributed to therapies such as hypnosis or meditation.

Uvnas-Moberg K
Department of Physiology and Pharmacology,
Karolinska Institute,
Stockholm, Sweden.
kerstin.uvnas-moberg@fyka.ki.se
Psychoneuroendocrinology 1998 Nov; 23(8):819-35

Oxytocin is an FDA controlled substance!

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Tags: Oxytocin, Oxytocin+love+trust+bonding, Oxytocin+accalaretion

Oxytocin and social interaction

Without oxytocin people would be far less inclined to seek social interaction, let alone fall in love and mate for life (or, as scientists call it, ‘pair bond’). The brain releases gobs of it during orgasm, mothers are awash in it during breastfeeding and, in clinical trials, a spritz of oxytocin has been shown to reduce anxiety, increase feelings of generosity and even ease the symptoms of shyness. Conversely, researchers are beginning to discover that low levels of the hormone — or the body’s faulty response to it — may contribute to severe social dysfunctions like depression and autism.”

Oxytocin is an FDA controlled substance!

Click here to read about a sublingual Homeopatic formulation designed to enable the body to release and Accelerate its own Natural (Social Viagra) Oxytocin.

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Tags: Oxytocin, Oxytocin+Social+Viagra, Oxytocin+and+Trust, Ocytocin+and+generosity, Oxytocin+and+bonding

Oxytocin and depression – gay letter

I came out to my family and friends when I was 23. After 5 years of lying, it felt good! Great actually. My parents, (life long Republicans!) were pretty good about it too. Apparently they suspected I was gay, not so much because I acted gay, I don’t really, but because all I ever brought home were handsome buff guys from soccer practice, or track meets, never ever girls. Conservative but loving parents they waited (against all hope) that they were wrong rather than confront me. My stupid old Grandfather was a whole other story but I won’t go into that!

I also came out because I couldn’t handle the constant lying. At the end of the day, like my parents, I’m a fairly conservative guy; monogamous by nature and all of the lying was decaying my personal code of ethics. Furthermore, all of the compartmentalization necessary to maintain the lies was a lot of work. I also thought coming out would give me a better chance of finding landing a partner. One of my favorite pastimes in trigonometry class was daydreaming about Mr. Right.

As your average garden variety gay guy will tell you, finding Mr. Right in the “gay world” isn’t so easy. Oh, it’s real easy if you like the flakey, lispy, effeminate types, but those people turn me off, big time. I gravitate to the straighter types. My father always used to say that water seeks it’s own level so maybe it’s just the potential of camaraderie that the straighter guys sensed? It could also be that I’m shorter and slighter than average, which I may be attractive to alpha type guys? Whatever.

I eventually found a great guy and entered into a monogamous relationship that lasted about three years. Then one day Bill ended it by reason of, get this, I was getting too muscular and I threatened his masculinity. He said, “Kittens grow into cats.” Irony of ironies, he was the Tom cat, walking the fence line in every alleyway in town. I’m not the brightest bulb on the tree but that excuse was too simplistic, too pat. I think the truth of the matter is that his oxytocin was just wearing thin. It does that. That’s life. So, I’m back on the market again.

The dating scene hasn’t changed, even a little bit. I meet guys everyday; at Starbucks, the gym, any and everywhere, but they all seem like sluts, guys looking for “hit and run” sex. Not my scene. I want a man I can stick by and who will stick by me. A mainstream guy who happens to be gay. That’s all. Where can I meet a regular type guy who actually produces this bonding hormone I’m reading about called oxytocin?

Bursting with Love . . .

Imago

Oxytocin is an FDA controlled substance!

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